Current Television vs Propaganda. Relationship author expert Dr. Molly Barrow

Current Television is designed to return television to the hands of the reporters and viewers. With most network and cable television, in spite of excellent efforts at reporting by men and women who risk their lives on the field of war and disaster, executive producers have the final say with the spin and twist of opinion. Too often, corporate decisions limit the news to what increases profits or political agendas of the big cats. This renders the news to little more than propaganda. Television is a strong hypnotic tool that has successfully dampened the voice of Americans and this philosophy is apparent in Al Gore's new book, The Assault on Reason. With alternative television like Current TV, the choices are yours and the voting reflects your interests and beliefs, not the self serving interests of big business. News anchorman Walter Cronkite was a hero for my generation and we believed every word that he said. Perhaps Current Television will bring back faith in our reporters and truth to our news. Check it out at http://www.current.tv.

Do You Have the Courage to Speak Up Against Domestic Terrorists? Relationship expert and author Dr. Molly Barrow

Poppy Doc was a fine country doctor in central Illinois. He worked tirelessly to save his community from the Great Influenza in 1918, likely the deadliest plague in history. The extremely virulent influenza virus killed an estimated 50 to 100 million people in the space of just six months. But Poppy Doc was a practical man of reason. He insisted that his farming community follow his hygiene protocols and even made the stubborn farmers stop their work and go to bed to save their lives. And it did. Poppy Doc Welch was invited to speak at medical conventions about his success for decades.

However, Dr. J. W. Welch fought a second blight that hit his rural community that he was never invited to speak about. His town, like many towns back then, did not allow people of African descent to live within the city limits. A family came to Doc Welch's clinic one Saturday morning. A young mother with two toddlers and their very sick father stood humbly at the doorway. Poppy Doc was a son of a son who treated Union and Confederacy wounded without prejudice and insisted on boiling his instruments, although he was severely chastised for his behavior. Doc Welch did what was right and treated the man and as he often did - refused any payment. The family drove on in their rattle trap car and Poppy though little of it.

But others thought a great deal about it. Word spreads like dry grass fire in small towns and soon his beloved community knew the whole shocking story. On Sunday evening Poppy Doc was called out to the porch of my great, great grandmother's large white farmhouse. A makeshift cross burned in the yard. Sparks flew in the hot summer breeze, briefly catching and eerily ignited the tips of the huge pine trees that flanked the yard. My mother, a child of six, was not easily contained by her own regal mother as she fought for position to see what was happening. A small crowd of men, perhaps a dozen, stood in the grass beyond the cross. Heavily robed, the moonlight caught the angles and curves of their hooded faces.

"Don't treat any more Niggers, Doc." they shouted.

Poppy Doc was the kindest man I have ever known. But that night he stood on his front porch and his 6'3" large frame leaned over the porch railing. Words to make a sailor proud flowed from his barred teeth and he told them he would treat any man, woman or child he damn well wanted to. He then proceeded to call each man out by name, recognizing them from their boots, or voice or body frame.

"Charlie, I will not be delivering your wife's baby." "Jack, I will let that foot of yours rot off before I help you again, now take that cross off my lawn and don't come back here, ever."

The stupid men pondered their situation only briefly, knocked down their handiwork and dispersed. Poppy Doc's teeth still snarled when he retold the story to me a generation later as I sat curled on his lap, my favorite resting place.

In the past week I have listened to Pastor Don Clowers of Dallas, the keynote speaker at a graduation ceremony who faced a shotgun and had his revival tent riddled with bullets because he cut down the rope dividing his church in half, one side for whites and one side for blacks. Then today, I received a mailing from Southern Poverty Law Center http://www.splcenter.org that said "Children are not born to hate. They're taught." Morris Dees offers a teaching program, called Teaching Tolerance that ensures "amidst the storms of injustice and racial and ethnic hatred there exists a beacon of hope." Can these men be fighting the same poisonous ignorance that my Grandfather cursed on his front porch?

Could we, as rational humans, make room for everyone or must we scramble to take the most, the fastest. Volunteers and low paid individuals on the ground fight for equality in opportunity, safety, food, health care, education and shelter for the poorest. But where is the tax money? In our recent past, America was easily distracted from the truth and real priorities of our time. America is the world's worst glutton of Co2 emissions, biggest polluter and enjoys the best of everything while the majority of the world suffers. Does the rest of the world have reason to dislike our behavior? Instead of dealing with essential issues, our crooked politicians get us very excited about secondary causes and social problems that temporarily fire up the people and keep them busy arguing among themselves with no leadership to a resolution. Meanwhile, those same politicians are busy slipping in self-serving bills, making fortunes, starting wars, or torturing captured, but untried people. This is America?

Many racist, selfish and greedy "domestic terrorists" operate on a philosophy that their immigrant relatives have more rights then another's immigrant relatives. Hate crimes, intolerance and prejudice is shifting to Mexican immigrants and distracting the American people from urgent work that needs to be done. A prolonged fight at home again is stupidity and a diversion from what really needs to change in America. Simply set up a new, tighter policy for immigration and enforce it, starting today. Leave families alone that are living here now, consider them grandfathered in because we can not waste time on the issue. Mexican immigration is a splinter, while we are dealing with a heart attack. Our energies need to return to the essential work of keeping America safer and the planet from overheating.

James William Welch, M.D. was a patriot, his son served as a doctor in WW2, as was his grandson, Jimmy Will, who served hard duty in a submarine. But I think that Poppy Doc would be on his front porch today if he could, cursing and outraged at the incompetence at the helm of American decisions. Billions of dollars are wasted while grass root programs that fight hatred in the next generation go unfunded. Such shortsightedness ignores the wisdom of educating women of the world about freedom, historical facts, health and science because women will spread tolerance and peace to their children, rather than watch them slaughtered and maimed in endless wars. There must be an alternative to killing men who disagree with us. Could war be won through compromise, new leadership and diplomacy instead of killing hundreds of thousands of innocent people?


The hot embers in the tall pine trees may soon warn of severe bad weather instead of just bad attitudes. Will you speak out now for the future of your children and their children? Americans can reset their priorities for their tax dollar. Change must happen quickly and we must stand shoulder to shoulder with each other regardless of skin color, heritage or political party. Perhaps knowing Poppy Doc's story will give you strength to lead us out of war and into sane progress and a sustainable future, because he is an example of a real leader, a person of courage, sanity and morality.


Dr. Molly Barrow holds a Ph.D. in clinical psychology and is the author of the new book, “Matchlines: A Revolutionary New Way of Looking at Relationships and Making the Right Choices in Love,” ISBN 159507158X. She is an authority on relationship and psychological topics; a member of the American Psychological Association, Screen Actors Guild, and Author’s Guild and is a licensed mental health counselor. Dr. Molly has appeared as an expert in the film, My Suicide, documentaries Ready to Explode and KTLA Impact, NBC news, PBS In Focus, WBZT talk radio and in O Magazine, Psychology Today, Newsday, The Nest, MSN.com, Yahoo, Match.com, N Magazine, Women’s Health, Women’s World and Shrink About This columnist for Scripps newspapers and Menstuff. To purchase Matchlines book please visit: http://www.askdrmolly.com.To read Dr. Molly Barrow daily blog: http://www.DrMollyBarrow.com. Dr. Molly Barrow White Papers visit: http://drmollybarrowpapersedu.blogspot.com/. Dr. Molly Barrow Radio: My Relationship Answers http://www.blogtalkradio.com

Should I Break-up my Relationship? Dr. Molly Barrow Author Relationship Expert

You have to know when to hold ’em, and when to fold ’em. Unfortunately, the longer the ability to love (Love-line)especially for the longest, the greater is the ability to sacrifice, persevere and endure. Longerlines rarely walk out on someone for whom they feel compassion. They stay, suffer and try harder, thinking they can make it better with more effort and love. They are in trouble, because it will only get worse for them—and their partner.
Many people will voluntarily stay in a truly untenable relationship out of feelings of loyalty, obligation, their vows, religious values, fear of starting over and being alone and lonely again, or in deference to the constraints of their belief systems. What they fail to realize is the cycle of pain they are voluntarily bringing upon themselves and their partner.
The point here is to understand that some relationships do not have longevity, no matter how hard either or both of you try. Try your best to make a relationship work, and never make a decision to terminate a committed relationship lightly or rashly. Just be willing to recognize a situation that is irreparable or dangerous. However, remaining friends with an Ex is commendable and is especially important when you share children. As the great chess masters know, there comes a definitive point in any game when the outcome is certain defeat and that player gracefully resigns—not as an act of cowardice, but rather, a rational judgment of reality and act of respect for the other player’s time. For help in saving your relationship, read Matchlines.

Dr. Molly Barrow holds a Ph.D. in clinical psychology and is the author of the new book, “Matchlines: A Revolutionary New Way of Looking at Relationships and Making the Right Choices in Love,” ISBN 159507158X. She is an authority on relationship and psychological topics; a member of the American Psychological Association, Screen Actors Guild, and Author’s Guild and is a licensed mental health counselor. Dr. Molly has appeared as an expert in the film, My Suicide, documentaries Ready to Explode and KTLA Impact, NBC news, PBS In Focus, WBZT talk radio and in O Magazine, Psychology Today, Newsday, The Nest, MSN.com, Yahoo, Match.com, N Magazine, Women’s Health, Women’s World and Shrink About This columnist for Scripps newspapers and Menstuff. To purchase Matchlines book please visit: http://www.askdrmolly.com.To read Dr. Molly Barrow daily blog: http://www.DrMollyBarrow.com. Dr. Molly Barrow White Papers visit: http://drmollybarrowpapersedu.blogspot.com/. Dr. Molly Barrow Radio: My Relationship Answers http://www.blogtalkradio.com

"Adult Children Return Home to Heal" Dr. Molly Barrow, relationship expert and author

Should you let an adult child come home again? Parents send their nearly grown children out to conquer the world and sometimes they bounce right back home. A parent's goal is to teach their child to survive the best and the worst that life has to offer. Most young people are able to maintain a level of existence, sobriety and relationships that sustain them until they really know who they are and what they want to do with their lives.

However, sometimes life throws them a curve and they falter. Circumstances can hurt them, even bring them to their knees. A devastating break-up with a lover, flunking their first semester, an unexpected death of a best friend, or getting fired from his or her first real job can knock your child out of the game and take months to a year to recover.

Did you keep their childhood bedroom just the same? Perhaps this is the time to open the shades and prepare for a wounded visitor. Make it clear that the invitation is temporary but open your door widely and let them come home again. As irritating as they are to you and your spouse, remember that your little habits will irritate them, too. As they begin to recover their sea legs, they will want the freedom of their own place ASAP. If you want to encourages them to leave quickly after a few weeks recovery, begin to talk endlessly about developing a strong work ethic and new disciplined habits in place of blaming others for their situation or procrastination. Hopefully, they will soon be out seeking new adventures.

Help them improve their diet and sleep patterns. Try including fish oil and B vitamins daily to help them recharge their nerves and bodies. Less coffee and colas and more vegetables will help them with their mood. If your child seems to be getting worse or rarely leaves the house, antidepressants may be indicated. Get medical help immediately if your child seems despondent or suicidal.

Being mom or dad again may even heal your empty nest pain. Give them a safe haven for a little while away from the pressures of living fast and competitively. Soon, they will try to fly again, this time a little wiser, a little stronger and a bit more ready. Oh, and don't redecorate that room just yet. They may be back.

Children who are Different Relationship Expert Dr. Molly Barrow

Is your child different? Are you a teenager and feel that you do not fit with your friends?

A body image that appears to be non-conforming can be a significant compressor of a child's self image. Anything that differs from society’s “norm” such as being too short, too tall, too light, too dark, too little, too big, can be devastating emotionally. This is most damaging during the teen years. Appearances matter too much to children due to peer pressure and superficial values.

Adolescent bodies grow and develop erratically and often create self-loathing that lasts a lifetime. Regardless of your actual looks, if people tell you repeatedly that you are too “something,” you will probably believe it. However, people gain influence and power over your own mind when you give it to them.
"Different" can become an asset as you grow older especially in the arts like music, film, or painting. "Different" in business or inventions can make you millions of dollars. If you begin to consider different as an asset you will select your partner or spouse differently too. Instead of picking lower because you are different, you will select a finer quality mate who will appreciate you and your uniqueness.

Adolescence is often hellish and one must fight to survive the insecurities, fears and critical scrutiny. To be a carbon copy of your friends is the lowest of goals. Learning to love yourself is a test and a passage into a freer and more tolerant world of your own that you can design any way you like. Redefine your image as you want it to be, first in your own mind, and then in other people’s perception of you are.

Dr. Molly Barrow holds a Ph.D. in clinical psychology and is the author of the new book, “Matchlines: A Revolutionary New Way of Looking at Relationships and Making the Right Choices in Love,” ISBN 159507158X. She is an authority on relationship and psychological topics; a member of the American Psychological Association, Screen Actors Guild, and Author’s Guild and is a licensed mental health counselor. Dr. Molly has appeared as an expert in the film, My Suicide, documentaries Ready to Explode and KTLA Impact, NBC news, PBS In Focus, WBZT talk radio and in O Magazine, Psychology Today, Newsday, The Nest, MSN.com, Yahoo, Match.com, N Magazine, Women’s Health, Women’s World and Shrink About This columnist for Scripps newspapers and Menstuff. To purchase Matchlines book please visit: http://www.askdrmolly.com.To read Dr. Molly Barrow daily blog: http://www.DrMollyBarrow.com. Dr. Molly Barrow White Papers visit: http://drmollybarrowpapersedu.blogspot.com/. Dr. Molly Barrow Radio: My Relationship Answers http://www.blogtalkradio.com

DAD'S DOZEN PROTECTS CHILDREN Relationship Author Expert Dr Molly Barrow

DAD’S DOZEN PROTECTS CHILDREN


Fathers, take a moment to feel peaceful love for your children. Then, check out these crucial tips to make your child safer and protect your precious offspring from lurking danger.
1. NOW I KNOW MY ABC’S
If your child is old enough to learn their ABC’S, then teach them their phone number instead including 1, area code and number. Beginning at age two, children need to know their first and last names, your first and last names and complete address, including your town and state.
2. ROLE PLAY
What if no one picked you up at school? What if someone knocks on the door with a package for you? What if Mom falls down and can not get up? What if someone told you we were dead or sick and wanted you to go with them to the hospital? Do you tell anyone on the phone that you are home alone? Teach your child to make an emergency call by dialing “911” or “0” in an emergency. Law enforcement officials would rather send out an officer on a false alarm then have a kid hurt or kidnapped.
3. SECRET WORD AND PLACE
Always decide a designated meeting place in theme parks or malls like easily recognized McDonalds Restaurants. Many children, who get separated from their parents, don’t consider themselves “lost” if they are still having fun. Be sure to clearly define “lost” as not with Mom or Dad. Make up a secret family pass phrase that no adult could guess, and that is a funny visual picture your child will remember, such as “The blue hippopotamus is hungry.” Teach your child to ask permission from their parent, teacher or baby-sitter before they go anywhere.
4. TINGLY TUMMY
Children have no experience with evil doers, but they do have survival instincts. They may not recognize a kidnapper or predator other than a funny feeling in their stomach that is warning them of creepy danger. Encourage this awareness by asking them in different situations, “Do you feel safe, does this feel right, can you sense danger?” when they are considering jumping off a high place, reaching to pet a strange dog, or when near a too friendly stranger or a loud bully.
5. BEHAVE APPROPRIATELY
We teach our children to quietly acquiesce to adults but if they are taken by a stranger teach your child to throw a full blown tantrum, yelling, “Kidnapper, Help” while kicking and trying to break loose. Once they are safely away, they can go to an employee of the store, to a police officer or to a family for help if they get lost, frightened by an attempted kidnapping or predator. Tell your child not to stray from you in a public place because someone might try to steal them.
6. SMILE
Police need a full face photo taken within the last six months or if your child is under the age of two, four times a year. Prepare a kit for each child that is an emergency box. Place a current photo, a detailed description of your child, including height, weight, age, eye and hair color, birthmarks, broken bones, scars, moles, physical characteristics or medical needs inside the box. Include names, addresses, and parents' names of your child's friends, favorite parks, and activities. Ask you dentist to prepare a full dental chart on your child that is updated with each new tooth change. Ask your doctor for a copy of your child’s medical records and remind them to note on their chart that information is never to be released without your written approval. Consider keeping in a sealed envelope an old toothbrush, baby teeth, a bloody band aid or a lock of hair as a DNA sample for the highest level of identification. Arrange with your local police department to have your child fingerprinted (officers make it easy and fun) and give you the fingerprint card. Just imagine if someone said your child belonged to them, not you. The contents of the box will help prove you are the parent and help police find the child if he or she is missing.
7. JUST FOR A SECOND
A tired, burnt out parent only needs to drop their guard for a second to allow a predator time to act. Always accompany your child to the bathroom even if other adults act uncomfortable. To protect your child, never hesitate to take a child with you to a men’s or women’s restroom regardless of the sex of the child rather than send them in alone. A child is not safe playing unsupervised in your yard, walking alone, home alone or left in a vehicle, ever. The parents that have a toddler leashed to them may seem harsh but imagine how you would feel if your sweet, attention deficit child or unruly toddler wandered off in the opposite direction. When you have two or more children the difficulty of maintaining safety and order can grow exponentially.
8. YOU WERE SUPPOSE TO BE WATCHING
Is someone drinking while watching the kids and protesting it is only a few beers? Someone needs to be the designated care taker and be sober, watchful, capable and kind. Become aware if your spouse or baby sitter seems oblivious or less sensitive to their duties. Depression, illness, alcohol and drug use in a care taker can leave a child virtually unattended. Do not permit it to continue. If a spouse wants to drink while on duty, sell the car and hire a daycare to keep your children safe. Drop in on babysitters and the daycare unexpectedly. Sit around and watch for awhile. Listen to what your child says happens there after you are gone.
9. CHECK YOURSELF
Are you attracted to younger and younger people? Do your friends wolf whistle at adolescent girls? Are you looking at pornography that uses young teenage girls or boys made to look older? Usually troubled runaways succumb to posing for these photographs because they are destitute or on drugs. When you buy this kind of pornography you are helping to exploit these children. “Developing and championing “model legislation” with regard to child pornography is crucial to a successful outcome in the fight against child pornography. Strong child pornography legislation is currently in place in only 5 of the 186 Interpol Member Countries.” (http://www.icmec.org/missingkids). Were you molested as a child? Sometimes if you were the victim you become extremely tuned in and more protective. Yet, too often old fear kicks in and leaves you powerless to protect a child, even when the truth is right in front of your eyes. Talk to a therapist confidentially and regain your ability to protect your children and others from knowing firsthand what you experienced.
10. CAN THEY TELL DAD
Usually a child will try to tell an adult about molestation or incest once. If you do not believe them or tell them they are lying, often they will not tell anyone again. Let a child know that you will listen to them, believe them and stop anyone who tries to hurt them, even if the perpetrator is your best friend, grandpa, a relative or neighbor. Unfortunately, the child often knows the person who hurts them and that causes great confusion and guilt in the child. If a child is fearful or tries to avoid someone, you must pay attention, they are asking for your help. Some people use teasing and joking to grab and touch a child, then make fun of them if they complain. Those adults are using your child and hiding behind humor. Stop them. When your child puts personal information on their clothing or on the Internet it is an open door to every scumbag in the world. Simply say no to your child and explain why.
11. NEWBORNS
In the past twenty years, the highest number of infant abductions has been in California, Texas and Florida. The profile of a typical abductor is an overweight female who usually plans the abduction ahead of time and takes advantage of an opportune moment to seize a baby. The woman often impersonates a nurse or health care worker and enters a hospital room and takes the baby for testing, etc. But an abductor could be anyone.
“While it is normal for new parents to be anxious, being deliberately watchful over the newborn infant is of paramount importance. Never leave your infant out of your direct line-of-sight even when you go to the restroom or take a nap. If you leave the room or plan to go to sleep, alert the nurses to take the infant back to the nursery or have a family member watch the baby. .. If you are uncomfortable with anyone who requests to take your infant or unable to clarify what testing is being done or why your infant is being taken from your room, it is appropriate to go with your infant to observe the procedure…have at least one color photograph of your infant (full, front-face view) taken along with footprints and compile a complete written description of your infant including hair and eye color, length, weight, date of birth, and specific physical characteristics.” (www.missingkids.com)
12. CALL THEM
Professionals are ready to help you. “Since 1982, the National Center for Missing and Exploited Children has spearheaded the national effort to prevent child abductions and return missing and exploited children to their families. In partnership with the Office of Juvenile Justice and Delinquency Prevention (OJJDP), NCMEC continues to enhance and expand its ability to offer critical intervention and prevention services to families and support law enforcement agencies at the Federal, State, local levels.” (http://www.ncjrs.gov/pdffiles1/ojjdp/fs200128.pdf). The Kentucky Missing and Exploited Children Unit was organized in 1984 to create a centralized clearinghouse to assist law enforcement agencies to locate and return missing children to their homes. Many stores, like Walmart, have a Code Adam plan of action—if a child is missing in the store, employees immediately mobilize to look for the missing child. Check out http://www.missingkids.com, http://criminaljustice.state.ny.us/missing/i_safety/icac.htm and http://www.take25.org for more information. The reality of today’s world requires parents to be super vigilant and take precautions and preventative measures to prevent kidnapping, exploitation, Internet crimes, pornography and violence. Take the lead, Fathers, in protecting your children by being there, being watchful, and being trustworthy guardians.


Dr. Molly Barrow holds a Ph.D. in clinical psychology and is the author of the new book, “Matchlines: A Revolutionary New Way of Looking at Relationships and Making the Right Choices in Love,” ISBN 159507158X. She is an authority on relationship and psychological topics; a member of the American Psychological Association, Screen Actors Guild, and Author’s Guild and is a licensed mental health counselor. Dr. Molly has appeared as an expert in the film, My Suicide, documentaries Ready to Explode and KTLA Impact, NBC news, PBS In Focus, WBZT talk radio and in O Magazine, Psychology Today, Newsday, The Nest, MSN.com, Yahoo, Match.com, N Magazine, Women’s Health, Women’s World and Shrink About This columnist for Scripps newspapers and Menstuff. To purchase Matchlines book please visit: http://www.askdrmolly.com.To read Dr. Molly Barrow daily blog: http://www.DrMollyBarrow.com. Dr. Molly Barrow White Papers visit: http://drmollybarrowpapersedu.blogspot.com/. Dr. Molly Barrow Radio: My Relationship Answers http://www.blogtalkradio.com

Lying or Distortion? Relationship Author expert Dr. Molly Barrow

As honest as we believe that we are, and strive to be, we are also prone to humiliation, embarrassment, sadness and anger in certain situations. Emotional intensity distorts memory, especially about formative events that have a pro-found influence on our lives. If an event causes too much pain and anger, fabrications and lies may be emotionally necessary to mask and insulate the hurtful memory.How an event is labeled and remembered is sometimes more important psychologically than what really happened.

The same event for two different children may be a trauma for one and uneventful for another. If a thief steals a child’s bike and the child assumes that he will just get a new bike, then it is not a big deal. However, if a child feels violated by the thief, or a parent beats them for the loss, then it becomes a traumatic memory.


On the other hand, sometimes people minimize what really happened too much. Incest, alcoholism, rape, early sexual experimentation, abandonment, the deaths of loved ones, physical and verbal abuse, shame or humiliation—all of these are significant occurrences that impact the way we love others. Problems occur when, as adults, we deny traumatic memories, whitewashing our childhood. The trauma remains in the form of hidden glitches in our psyches, directly affecting our relationships. Truth is evasive so have a healthy skepticism when you are learning about a new partner. As you gather information make sure you pay very close attention to past behavior, as “Actions do speak louder than words.”


Dr. Molly Barrow holds a Ph.D. in clinical psychology and is the author of the new book, “Matchlines: A Revolutionary New Way of Looking at Relationships and Making the Right Choices in Love,” ISBN 159507158X. She is an authority on relationship and psychological topics; a member of the American Psychological Association, Screen Actors Guild, and Author’s Guild and is a licensed mental health counselor. Dr. Molly has appeared as an expert in the film, My Suicide, documentaries Ready to Explode and KTLA Impact, NBC news, PBS In Focus, WBZT talk radio and in O Magazine, Psychology Today, Newsday, The Nest, MSN.com, Yahoo, Match.com, N Magazine, Women’s Health, Women’s World and Shrink About This columnist for Scripps newspapers and Menstuff. To purchase Matchlines book please visit: http://www.askdrmolly.com.To read Dr. Molly Barrow daily blog: http://www.DrMollyBarrow.com. Dr. Molly Barrow White Papers visit: http://drmollybarrowpapersedu.blogspot.com/. Dr. Molly Barrow Radio: My Relationship Answers http://www.blogtalkradio.com

Inflammation is the enemy.Relationship expert author Dr. Molly Barrow

Inflammation is the new dirty word in health care. Your body reacts to certain substances it considers invasion or disease by creating inflammation to help you survive. However, the current American lifestyle is overwhelming the body with high glycemic carbohydrates, additives, pollutants and petroleum based beauty products that often cause our body to react negatively. Inflammation is blamed for illnesses, wrinkles, allergies, polyps, diabetes, obesity, fatigue... the list is very long.
You can improve your diet by eating organic low glycemic foods - a protein, a vegetable or healthy carb and good fats heavy in Omega 3's. Consider skin treatments with organic ingredients and pure serums for your face that contain anti inflammatory substances and rich vitamins like C Ester, E, DMAE, green tea and neuropeptides. You may have an inflammatory response to certain foods. Wheat, milk and egg allergies can create severe inflammatory reactions. Try eliminating each food from your diet for a few days and observe if your bloated swollen body begins to feel energetic and young again. Great health takes hard work. Begin by treating inflammation as the bad guy.

Longing for Romance? Date your Husband. Relationship Expert Author Dr. Molly Barrow

Longing for romance? When was the last time you had a romantic date with your husband? If you have children or demanding jobs or both then finding time for romance is a huge challenge for couples. Do you watch other couples walking hand in hand and long for the romantic dating days? Often when you can arrange for the children to spend the night at a friends, your first instinct may be to collapse on the couch and just rest, think and relax. But after too many of the same old thing, a couple needs to make an effort to rekindle the heat. Plan an evening out, dress up, wear perfume and flirt with him. Laugh freely and let any negativity go, just ignore troubles and keep the happy mood. At first, one of you may have trouble shaking off the responsibilities and worries but give each other a chance to get back in the game. Try swimming at night in a heated pool together or play your favorite music loudly, dancing in the living room. A walk on the beach or boardwalk holding hands and taking part in life instead of watching other people on television will help to set the mood. Turn off the computer, television and phones for a few stolen hours and hopefully you will find the romance you are looking for at home with your husband. Look deeply into his eyes and smile happily at him. Love can be grand.

Troubled teens? Make a change. Relationship expert Dr. Molly Barrow

How do you know when it is the right time to make a change with a troubled teenager. Just like a two year old insisting they can cross the street alone a teenager may declare they can take care of themselves. The pattern of failure when a child is released before he or she has matured into an adult is all too prevalent. Still dependant but rejecting parental control, a teen will often move in with a friend or other adult who offers more freedom. Often the child exchanges parental dominance for sexual dominance or control by religious figures. The teen sees through tunnel vision believing they have successfully gained more freedom from parents but often missing their own vulnerability to misuse and brainwashing. Young people are searching for leadership and unfortunately most parents can no longer apply for the job. A teen alone on the street will not fulfill the grandiose dreams in their heads. If they were motivated to finish school, they would need to also work a forty hour week at minimum wage to live at poverty level. Spoiled by their parents hard work, the teen may supplement their salary with drug dealing or sexual favors. With few controls, they could become victims to drug and alcohol abuse, often led and encouraged by like minded lost kids. Do not believe your child when they tell you they can take care of themselves. Keep them in school as long as possible. If you are at the end of your rope try to arrange for another parent who you and the child admire to give you a few months break. Sometimes a change of guard is enough to help a selfish, all about me kid become a more appreciative young man or woman.

Women Entrepreneurs! Relationship expert author Dr. Molly Barrow

Female business entrepreneurs...check out the new magazine Women Entrepreneurs and website http://www.womenentrepreneur.com/welcome/index.html

Writer editor Francine Kizner who had interviewed Molly Barrow for Hitched is now writing for this excellent new resource. We can all benefit from advice and help from experts in areas like:

Connect with other entrepreneurs
Discuss your startup challenges
Get cash flow strategies from our members
Learn how to promote your business online
Meet others in your industry
Talk about how to grow your business
Discover how to achieve work/life balance

Want to marry a richest man? Dr. Molly Barrow Relationship expert author

When selecting a man for your lifetime partner, if you were asked to chose between a rich man and a hard working poor one who would you choose? Women have often sought protection, security and companionship from their mate, especially when considering children. However, let me rephrase the criteria when looking for a rich man. I have counseled millionaires and billionaires, sports stars and businessmen. They drove Bentley's and exotic sports cars. Some lacked basic skills of love so severely that their wives and children wasted away in neglect. Although the men could see that their families were troubled they lacked the interpersonal skills to reach out to help them. Other rich men had developed a poverty mentality that made them question, angrily scold and micro manage every purchase decision their spouse made. These people had material possessions but they were poor in happiness, generosity and warmth.

Consider judging a rich man on the following:
Laughter: Does he laugh with you freely and with good humor, not needing to make someone a victim of his jokes?
Flexibility: When you plan a picnic and it rains can he still have fun having the picnic on the living room floor, or is he angry at the weather that spoiled his plans?
Determined: Can he take disappointment and quickly let go of the pain, then choose an alternative plan and keep on going?
Coping Skills: When life hits him hard, does he turn to addictions or does he work harder to make things right again?
Considerate: Can he put the needs of someone else before his own?
Solvent: Does he pay his bills and live within his means no matter how high or low?
Loyal: Is he satisfied with you or does he need more than one partner?
Maturity: Can he be a gentle and loving role model to your children, or is he a child himself?
Spirituality: Does he believe the good he does will be counted, as will his sins and does he have enough self respect that he does not allow himself to be a liar,cheat,thief or violent human being?

Although a man may be paid a low hourly fee for his life work, if he has these qualities and more than he is the "richest" man and life shared with him will be filled with rewarding and pleasant days.

Moms Dream Dreams Too by Relationship expert author Dr. Molly Barrow

 


Happy Mother's Day. When the brunch is over, the flowers are in water and the cards displayed, take one more moment to ask your Mom, "What were your dreams?" It is easy to forget that under her mother's uniform is a young girl with dreams and aspirations. After a lifetime of service to people she cares for and loves, perhaps, she needs to be reminded of her lofty thoughts that she had in her teens. Who was she dreaming she might become before she hit that glass ceiling.

Freedoms that many now take for granted were unheard of in previous generations. Choices exist now to marry or not, have children with a husband or not, be a career woman and mother or be business all the way. There were no sports scholarships, no women's programs, no equal opportunity to become somebody. "I coulda been a contender," spoken by Marlon Brando describes the missed opportunities of talented women who prioritized their children before their dreams. And for me it was the right decision.

But I suspect Mom may enjoy a moment to dream her dreams again. Just ask her, "Mom, what were your dreams when you were 19?" Thank her for the clean clothes, meals and unconditional love, of course. However, let her know that you know she gave more than just time and energy to raise a child. She gave up some personal dreams and who she might have been. Hug her and thank her for that, too.

Parenting Pitfalls Relationship Expert Dr. Molly Barrow

Hear Dr. Molly Barrow Speak about her Child-Compassionate Parenting on Blog Talk Radio http://www.blogtalkradio.com/hostpage.aspx?show_id=24763
Listen to ten common parenting mistakes that can cause anxiety and fear in your child and alternative approaches using Child-Compassionate parenting.

Adoption of a pet is a Responsibility. Relationship Expert Author Dr. Molly Barrow

Camille Christie with Louise. UK Marie Claire October.'06




Many studies have shown that people thrive from the companionship of a pet, particularly the elderly. But their is a serious side to the adoption of a pet. The following requirements are from an adoption center in North Carolina. Http://www.bfpa.org lists the following criteria before they will even consider taking your $150.00 and allowing you to adopt.

Dog Adoption Requirements


You must be at least 21 years old
You must live in North Carolina, preferably within a 30-mile radius of the Triangle area (Raleigh-Durham-Chapel Hill)
You may not be a student or member of the military
You must be willing to make a ten- to twenty-year commitment to the dog
You must agree that your new dog will be primarily an indoor companion
You will provide good veterinarian care (dog will be kept current on all vaccinations, have an annual wellness exam, be kept on monthly heartworm preventative and emergency care if needed)
You must have a secure fenced yard or be committed to multiple daily leash walks in all kinds of weather (snow, heat, ice, pouring rain, etc.)
Any children in the home must be over the age of 5, unless there is another dog in the home and the toddler knows how to respect a dog's space
All current pets in your household must be sterilized, current on all shots and primarily indoor companions

If you meet the above criteria and can agree to all our requirements, then you are ready to meet our dogs and puppies. Please click on "Adoptable Dogs and Puppies". (From the http://www.bfpa.org site)

Strict rules that may go against some vet's recommendations made recently about vacinations doing harm to some pets. Check with your vet about alternatives and read the latest reports before you vacinate.
Other large adoption sites are www.petfinder.com and http://www.1-800-save-a-pet.com with thousands of choices. Some caution is necessary as all pet lovers fear for the animals welfare once they are adopted. If you are considering a pet adoption now, be sure the young children or the elderly recipient is prepared and capable of taking responsibility for the daily care of an animal. With that said, if there is room in your heart and home for a wonderful experience of protection, adoration and humor, please adopt a pet from a shelter, save their life and enrich your own.

Teachers should be our highest paid profession Relationship expert author Dr. Molly Barrow

Teachers should be our highest paid profession after security and health workers. One terrific site for teachers that often publishes my articles on children can be found at ESL Teachers Board www.eslteachersboard.com
Description: Free teaching materials, jobs and resumes.

Thank you to all the teachers everywhere.

Parenting Pitfalls to Avoid Using Child-Compassionate Parenting

The process of learning parenting is rough on the first born. Inexperienced parents can have the best intentions and still make mistakes that have long range negative impact on their children. Child-Compassionate Parenting adheres to developmental stages and provides for the healthy personality to develop while maintaining parental control and reason. Here are ten parenting pitfalls to avoid.
1. ARGUING IN FRONT OF THE CHILD
Irritation and exhaustion make parents more volatile. Complaining and bickering may relieve some built up pressure but these anger embers can explode into a yelling fight. Young toddlers can be so alarmed that they may have accidents or get ill when their parents become angry. Screaming and anger were part of a survival reaction when the mother deemed an intruder was life threatening. There is no excuse for putting this much stress on a child. Discuss adult issues and disagreements in civil and polite tones. The person who is yelling is trying to win an argument by acting violent and that is unfair fighting.
2. SENSORY OVERLOAD
The body can handle millions of bits of information intake but then it needs a break. The noise level of children, their television programs, appliances, pets and phones can leave a parent confused and stressed. A fifteen minute walk, with only the sound of the birds, can do wonders for your psyche. When the child is safely in his or her stroller and you are away from unimportant urgency, telephones and chaos, then you can process and relax. A slow stroll without any other purpose than to “Listen to the song of life,” as Katharine Hepburn often said. At home, if your child is clearly in sight, make a cup of hot green tea and sip it slowly wearing earplugs. The combination of antioxidants and silence is healing. Sound is a necessary warning signal, so mini breaks only.
3. NO NO’S
As a child ages they can learn from other peoples mistakes, but toddlers want to experience everything for themselves. Eliminate the possibilities for disaster rather than spend the precious time you have with your child saying, “No” so many times that the child becomes immune to the word. Save “No!” for dangerous moments that could be life threatening. You want that word to stop them in their tracks so do not over use it on meaningless control issues. If the child is drawn to Grandma’s colorful vase, put the vase away and replace it with a plastic object or stuffed animal. Let the child explore, touch and occasionally taste the room’s objects until they have learned what they need to learn. Usually, the child only makes one pass across everything. Follow the child patiently helping them to explore the breakable items, explaining that this will break so we leave it alone. Then, put the vase up where there is no chance of a mistake. The vase is nothing compared to your child.
4. SWIM
Teach your child to swim. “Drowning is the second leading cause of accidental injury-related death among children ages 1 to 14 and the leading cause of accidental injury-related death among children ages 1 to 4.” (http://www.usa.safekids.org). Even if you are afraid of the water yourself or hate the amount of chlorine your child is exposed to in public pools, teach your child to swim. Drowning is preventable unlike a car accident or many other accidents. Chlorine is as hard on your lungs as your eyes so insist on better ventilation at swimming pools especially an indoor pool with low ceilings. Non-chlorinated disinfectants are available and used in many European pools. But if all you have is the local pool reeking of chlorine, you owe your child a fighting chance to swim to safety. Teach your child to swim now.
5. VEGANS
Good idea but the human body is complicated and requires B12 and Vitamin D and fish or nut oil good fats that can not be supplied in many limited diets. Feed your child a variety of healthy organic foods as often as possible but do not be too restrictive. We only know a fraction of the intricacies of the chemical reactions in the body and many facts become fiction as science discovers new evidence. Waiting for water in plastic bottles when often municipality water is superior can lead to dehydration and serious complications. Letting a young child feel painful hunger pangs because the food is not perfectly nutritious is counterproductive to good parenting. Sometimes it is O.K. to help the child deal with difficult situations with a full belly of just O.K. food.
6. ASSUME THEY ARE GOOD
See that mischievous glint in your child’s eyes that alerts you to impending trouble? Remember it well so that you recognize it when as teenagers they get that same look when they have an exciting idea. Even as you absolutely know for certain that they are doing something wrong, discipline means teaching. Remind them of the consequence of disobeying you and wait to see what they do. They will weigh the potential pleasure reward of doing what they are thinking versus the severity of your consequence. Typically, they will choose pleasure. Calmly, shake your head and say I asked you to do that and instead you did the other. The consequence will now be this. If you are really clever you will have already pasted the crime and punishment on the refrigerator before it happens so you can say, “See.” Start with very tiny logical consequences, like a minute of time out that matches their age and loss of gadgets and privileges when they are older. Save the big punishment for drug and alcohol use, stealing or not using a condom, much later. Never use big threats or joke with threats. When it is really important they will not know whether you are serious or joking.
7. YOU ARE ON
After a long day of work, a couple just wants to eat, shower and sit down. But who is watching the baby? Never leave a child unattended. You must get a response from the other parent acknowledging that they are on duty before you run to the bathroom or step outside even for a moment. When you are on, you must prioritize your job of protecting your child from harm over a television game, surfing the Internet or making dinner. Make a section of a visible room a safe play area that is baby gated and away from obvious danger. Toddlers can stack toys together to make an escape faster than you can get back to your computer chair. Never leave a child in front of a television while you go back to sleep. They can open a door and be in the street so quickly. You use to love to play. Perhaps, you could play with your child joyfully for a while. Some day they will not want you anymore. So relax and enjoy running in the park, puppets and card games again. When they leave for college, you can repaint the house and get new flooring. Tolerate messy toys, spills and other accidents.
8. TRUST BUILDING
Realities of life are extremely harsh. As humans we must suspend the truths of our short existence. Our vulnerable body can die in a few minutes from a cut or a few inches of water. Knowing how to balance protective parenting and fear inducing anxiety is tricky. Teaching the kindness and beauty of the world is more important than teaching the horrific things people do to each other. If you want your child to know Jesus, teach the wisdom of Jesus, not the sadistic brutality of Roman gladiators nailing a man’s hands. If you want your child to love animals visit a zoo, or adopt a pet rather than watching the television footage of a lioness eating the belly of a living deer. You need to stay informed, but the news is also on at ten after the child is asleep. Can you really explain to them why other parents allow their adult children’s bodies to be contaminated and shredded in wars? Can they believe it won’t happen to them? Protect your children’s hearts and minds at every opportunity until they are in school where they will learn the history of man soon enough.
9. NIGHTY NIGHT
Never use bedtime as a punishment. A child abruptly left in a dark room to sob is abhorrent to experienced parents and anyone who has a heart. Such selfish parental quick fixes will result in long term damage to trust and self esteem. If you must punish a worn out tired child, use time out instead. Then, begin a pleasant nighttime ritual of bath, brushing teeth, p.j.’s, a book, a favorite bear and blanket, a kiss and good night. This ritual will cut down on phobias, nightmares, guilt, anxiety and hysterically crying rejected little children. Bedtime is one of the most loving experiences of parenting that when done correctly results in strong bonding.
10. BUDGET BABYSITTERS
Funds are tight and so many purchases seem important, however, spend money on a babysitter at least once a week. Time alone with your spouse in dating mode will help keep your love alive. Like a delicate flower you must water, feed and care for you living and changing love. Men need attention from their wives and wives need nurturing from their men. Hire a babysitter, grandparent or older teen to play with your child while you spend time with each other as a couple. Go play miniature golf, or bowl or dance, feel young again, carefree and unencumbered for a little while. The best gift you can give your child is a stable, happy home life, not an abundance of things or fancy schools.

Forgive in your heart the struggles of childhood and parent with a compassionate, not critical code of behavior. Parenting is the hardest job you will ever do. Your reward will not be your child thanking you for your sacrifices. Your reward will be the realization that your parenting skills advanced forward as you watch your grown child parent your grandchild with Child-Compassionate Parenting.

Dr. Molly Barrow holds a Ph.D. in clinical psychology and is the author of the new book, “Matchlines: A Revolutionary New Way of Looking at Relationships and Making the Right Choices in Love,” ISBN 159507158X. She is an authority on relationship and psychological topics; a member of the American Psychological Association, Screen Actors Guild, and Author’s Guild and is a licensed mental health counselor. Dr. Molly has appeared as an expert in the film, My Suicide, documentaries Ready to Explode and KTLA Impact, NBC news, PBS In Focus, WBZT talk radio and in O Magazine, Psychology Today, Newsday, The Nest, MSN.com, Yahoo, Match.com, N Magazine, Women’s Health, Women’s World and Shrink About This columnist for Scripps newspapers and Menstuff. To purchase Matchlines book please visit: http://www.askdrmolly.com.To read Dr. Molly Barrow daily blog: http://www.DrMollyBarrow.com. Dr. Molly Barrow White Papers visit: http://drmollybarrowpapersedu.blogspot.com/. Dr. Molly Barrow Radio: My Relationship Answers http://www.blogtalkradio.com

Troubled teenagers disrupt homelife. Relationship expert Dr. Molly Barrow author of Matchlines

Teenagers can become so adversarial that their antics can completely disrupt your home life. In middle school and the first year of high school a teenager often aligns themselves with a particular group. The group is meaning less once the child graduates high school and moves on with their life in college or business. However, for most teens the peer group rules supreme with a loud influential voice and unfortunately, parental influence fails to a mere whisper. Most parents survive the often traumatic and depressing behavior of their once adorable toddler who has seemingly overnight turned into a snarling, hateful and selfish young adult. Try to remember it is just a costume that your child is wearing. High school is often dangerous and threatening for kids and a tough exterior may be necessary. If you have experienced multiple losses, a job loss, a divorce or the death of a parent you may need to consider a structured boarding school for a volatile destructive teenager, especially if illegal behavior is surfacing. Teenagers recover their senses in their early twenties and laugh about what they did. Although it may not seem funny to you now, it is a passing phase.

MLB Bat Men and Scary Cancer Control by Relationship author expert Dr. Molly Barrow

"
Cincinnati's Ken Griffey Jr. was one of dozens of players to swing pink bats on Sunday. (David Kohl/AP)


Clubs think pink on Mother's Day
Players use special bats; clubs raise breast cancer awareness
By Robert Falkoff / MLB.com


MLB Headlines

From Yankee Stadium in New York to AT&T Park in San Francisco, it was a day to think pink around Major League Baseball.
Culminating a weeklong initiative designed to create awareness about breast cancer and the importance of early detection as well as raise funds to help fight the disease, Major League Baseball had special Mother's Day programs at all 15 home ballparks.

Players wore pink wristbands and pink ribbons for breast cancer awareness were displayed on player uniforms as well as on all on-field personnel. Specially designed pink bats, supplied by Louisville Slugger, were used by some players and the pink ribbon logo appeared on the bases and on commemorative home plates. Players also checked out the batting orders on pink dugout lineup cards.

The pink plates, bats and lineup cards will be team-autographed and auctioned off on MLB.com at a later date to raise additional funds for the Susan G. Komen Breast Cancer Foundation. From May 7 through Saturday, fans and players were able to log onto MLB.com and make a monentary pledge for each strikeout thrown during that period to benefit the Susan G. Komen Breast Cancer Foundation." (http://www.mlb.mlb.com)

Well Done Bat Men!

When your doctor suggests that you have a routine screening for cancer, do you panic? The words mammogram, screening for colon cancer, total body exam for skin cancer or sinus CT scan send some patients running for the door. I lost my own mother to breast cancer. She quietly told me she had found a lump. As I touched the lump that I hoped would be a tiny bump, I felt instead a mass that would be her death sentence. Mom was afraid to face the treatment for cancer and kept her secret until it killed her. I fear cancer, too but I act proactively. I just had a mammogram this month and my GYN did a manual exam. I eat tons of broccoli, antioxidants, lift weights and run.

Because illness in our breasts, skin, colon or ovaries threaten us, it is easy to take an adversarial position with parts of our own body. The very powerful thought-body connection needs to consist of completely positive self talk and turn that connection around to work to your benefit. Basically, your body is listening to you criticize it. Make it gentle praise and support, like encouraging a timid child. Love you and your body thrives. Detest you and your body may fail.

For those of you whose fear incapacitates them, rejoice that science is becoming more successful and less invasive with cancer treatment. Check out the new radio surgery, CyberKnife by Donald Fuller below. Also, please check out preventative measures at the American Cancer Society http://www.cancer.org/docroot/PED/ped_0.asp




The new new careers
By Michael Copeland and Kevin Kelleher

For years San Diego radiation oncologist Donald Fuller relied on the standard tools of cancer therapy: radiation, chemotherapy, and surgery. But late last year, Fuller and several partners invested $4 million in a high-energy linear accelerator fixed to a robotic arm. The CyberKnife zaps radiation beams with submillimeter precision at tumors inside patients' bodies. After as many as five, one-hour treatments, tumors can disappear in a matter of days.

So-called radiosurgery has been used for years to treat cancer in the brain, where conventional operations are usually too risky. The CyberKnife--manufactured by Accuray and approved by the FDA in 2001 to treat tumors anywhere in the body--is only now reaching a broad population of patients with early-stage lung cancer, spinal tumors, and other cancers.

But it's turned Fuller, 49, into an entrepreneur. If he can treat 150 patients a year for the average insurance reimbursement of $19,000 each, he'll break even on his radiosurgery business by the end of 2008. Afterward, he could be looking at as much as $2.6 million a year in new revenue. "This is the way we are heading in medicine," Fuller says. "It's the way technology is taking us." (http://jobs.aol.com/article/_a/the-new-new-careers)





Dr. Molly Barrow holds a Ph.D. in clinical psychology and is the author of the new book, “Matchlines: A Revolutionary New Way of Looking at Relationships and Making the Right Choices in Love,” ISBN 159507158X. She is an authority on relationship and psychological topics, a member of the American Psychological Association and a licensed mental health counselor. Dr. Molly has appeared as an expert in the film, My Suicide, documentaries Ready to Explode and KTLA Impact, NBC news, PBS In Focus, WBZT talk radio and in O Magazine, Psychology Today, Newsday, The Nest, MSN.com, Yahoo, Match.com, N Magazine, Women’s Health, Women’s World and Shrink About This columnist for Scripps newspapers and Menstuff. To purchase Matchlines book please visit: http://www.askdrmolly.com.To read Dr. Molly Barrow daily blog: http://www.DrMollyBarrow.com. Dr. Molly Barrow White Papers visit: http://drmollybarrowpapersedu.blogspot.com/. Dr. Molly Barrow Radio: My Relationship Answers http://www.blogtalkradio.com

Relationship expert author Dr. Molly Barrow Letter of appreciation from Walden University

Letter from Walden University:
We are grateful for your contribution in helping advance Walden's mission ....your ongoing involvement helps to build the stature and reputation of the University...we look forward to showcasing your experience in our upcoming national television campaign. On behalf of Walden University, please accept our best wishes for your continued success.
Paula Peinovich, Ph.D.
President

Dr. Molly Barrow on Blog Talk Radio Divorced But Not Over It?

Check out Dr. Molly Barrow on Blog Talk Radio http://www.blogtalkradio.com under Family. Today's show was Divorced But Not Over It?. Blog Talk allows callers to call in live and ask questions during the show. Dr. Molly selects a time to perform her radio show live and then calls in on her designated telephone number. Blog Talk Radio begins a countdown, "You will be live in 5 seconds 4, 3,2" and suddenly you are talking to cyberspace. A little nerve-racking at first but soon you just talk. A meter shows you how many minutes you have left and if a caller is waiting to be heard. Stay tuned for an announcement of regular Dr. Molly programming when you can call in and talk to Dr. Molly about your relationship issues.

Divorced but Not Over It? Dr. Molly Barrow Relationship expert author

(socialitelife.com photo)


Divorced but Not Over It?

Shrink About This

by

Dr. Molly Barrow

The divorce may be final but is the left over pain and anger still eating you up? Here are ten tips to help to process the hurt and get on with your life.

1. PHYSICAL DAMAGE

Prolonged anxiety, stress or agony of any kind hurts you physically, not just emotionally. Get ye to the track and run off the hurt, lift weights and scream, dance until you sweat. Eat right and drink water, not booze. Give your body a break. Self destruction will not make the relationship recover. If you are losing it or feeling suicidal, ask your doctor for antidepressants for a few months.

2. THINK IN TERMS OF SUCCESS

If you managed to have a relationship, any relationship, even if it ended badly, at least you have known passion, partnership and perhaps, parenthood. All that may include pain, too. Would you rather have never felt anything for anyone?

3. SAVE THE CHILDREN

Are you trying to continue to be a good parent but your ex-partner would rather eradicate you? That situation may push desperate panic buttons. Remember the story about Solomon and the two mothers. Let the child live in peace and stay as involved as you possibly can. When the child is around ten, they see the truth. Just give consistent, unconditional love and time will do the rest. Never make the mistake of screaming at your children out of frustration with your partner or making the children the go-between.

4. HOT ANGER

Hot anger is, well, hot and not that different from passion. If you are still embroiled in someone else’s life and what they say or do, you must still care. If a stranger said or did similar things would it bother you? Probably not. Admit you still care and get some professional help processing the left over love that is masquerading as hate.

5. BLIND TO THE NEXT

While you are pouting in the corner, your perfect match may be watching you. If you are still all tangled up in your old dead relationship, you will not notice. Double loss.

6. GET OUT OF TOWN

Remove yourself from triggers that jumpstart the feelings all over again. Take a trip to Rome or Baltimore, anywhere that is new and different to help put a relationship crisis in perspective. It is only a relationship. As much as it may hurt right now, it is not life-threatening HIV or cancer. You will recover.

7. NUMBERS REALITY

It is true that of all marriages in America, 50% of first marriages end in divorce and 67% of second and 74% of third marriages also end in divorce, according to Jennifer Baker of the Forest Institute of Professional Psychology. The distribution as shown on http://www.divorcerate.org/ is as follows:

Age at marriage for those who divorce in America

Age
Women Men


Under 20 years old
27.6% 11.5%


20 to 24 years old
36.6% 38.8%

25 to 29 years old
16.4% 22.3%

30 to 34 years old
8.5% 11.6%

35 to 39 years old
5.1% 6.5%

Relationships are much more difficult to hold together in this time of stress and easy divorce, especially if you were too young.

8. TAKE RESPONSIBILITY

No matter how awful your relationship may be now, you made a long series of choices that have brought you to this place. Take responsibility for your fifty percent of all the decisions and also the problems. The blame game is immature and fruitless. Learn from your mistakes and try harder next time by selecting a more compatible partner or by learning to be a better partner.

9. LONG TERM

If you share a child, you will also share grandchildren and great- grandchildren at weddings, graduations and birthdays. Animosity for the past will affect the lives of your future descendants as long as you live or as long as you hold a grudge. Sweet innocents will love Grandma and Grandpa and your venom at their parties will poison them. Not fair to the little kids. If you remain in the same town, your friends and co-workers will have to compensate for your botched relationship and inadequacy to mend hurt feelings. Supervisors may read that as inadequacy to resolve other issues and pass you by for the next promotion. Like rings from a stone in a pond, the bad vibes will spread all around you.

10. TIME IS SHORT

Your life is ticking away. Wouldn't you rather be smiling, sailing, hiking, discovering new miracles of science or gardening, rather than making war?







Dr. Molly Barrow holds a Ph.D. in clinical psychology and is the author of the new book, “Matchlines: A Revolutionary New Way of Looking at Relationships and Making the Right Choices in Love,” ISBN 159507158X. She is an authority on relationship and psychological topics, a member of the American Psychological Association and a licensed mental health counselor. Dr. Molly has appeared as an expert in the film, My Suicide, documentaries Ready to Explode and KTLA Impact, NBC news, PBS In Focus, WBZT talk radio and in O Magazine, Psychology Today, Newsday, The Nest, MSN.com, Yahoo, Match.com, N Magazine, Women’s Health, Women’s World and Shrink About This columnist for Scripps newspapers and Menstuff. To purchase Matchlines book please visit: http://www.askdrmolly.com.To read Dr. Molly Barrow daily blog: http://www.DrMollyBarrow.com. Dr. Molly Barrow White Papers visit: http://drmollybarrowpapersedu.blogspot.com/. Dr. Molly Barrow Radio: My Relationship Answers http://www.blogtalkradio.com

Blended Family Relationship Expert Dr Molly Barrow

Today is my tenth year wedding anniversary and fortunately for me the traditional gift is diamond jewelry. A box of Godiva Chocolates, a diamond bracelet and a card that states he will love me forever. I am grateful and humbled by his Longline capacity to give love. The difference in the quality of your days is tremendous between having a relationship with a Longline compared to a Shortline. Not that it is easy. Raising three children, all of whom had little or no contact with one of their biological parents because of death or divorce brought a wild variety of difficulties, joy and sorrow to our blended family. Sometimes it takes several rough years to blend a family, but it is so worth it. No, it has not been easy, but it has been great.




Dr. Molly Barrow holds a Ph.D. in clinical psychology and is the author of the new book, “Matchlines: A Revolutionary New Way of Looking at Relationships and Making the Right Choices in Love,” ISBN 159507158X. She is an authority on relationship and psychological topics, a member of the American Psychological Association and a licensed mental health counselor. Dr. Molly has appeared as an expert in the film, My Suicide, documentaries Ready to Explode and KTLA Impact, NBC news, PBS In Focus, WBZT talk radio and in O Magazine, Psychology Today, Newsday, The Nest, MSN.com, Yahoo, Match.com, N Magazine, Women’s Health, Women’s World and Shrink About This columnist for Scripps newspapers and Menstuff.

To purchase Matchlines book please visit: http://www.askdrmolly.com

To read Dr. Molly Barrow daily blog: http://www.DrMollyBarrow.com/

Dr. Molly Barrow White Papers visit: http://drmollybarrowpapersedu.blogspot.com/

Psychological Impotence Relationship Expert Author Dr. Molly Barrow

How to avoid it. How to fix it.

The “American Male” role is a narrow and well-defined set of behaviors that govern men of all ages. Starting in childhood, homophobic parents and teachers use behavior modification to maneuver male children with rewards and punishments designed to make a man out of a child. Unfortunately, the tough, unfeeling model of the fifties portrayed so successfully by Lee Marvin, Brando , Newman and John Wayne fails miserably in real life scenarios of business, home, women and children.

Given an impossible and painful strait-jacket definition of themselves, men find that they are angry, frustrated and off their game. Yet, there is a huge difference between physical impotency and psychological impotency. Check with your doctor first, but Masters and Johnson used a common at home test that can tell you lots. The simple test of a taping a flaccid penis before sleep and checking in the morning for a break in the tape is a good indicator of which type of impotency a man experiences. You may feel a bit ridiculous but if the tape is broken in your sleep then there is no problem with the equipment. We must then assume the issue is a problem with attitude and thinking negatively. Here are a few steps to consider that may recover the right attitude, your desire and confidence once again.

1. JUST KIDDING
Comments from your buddies can chip away at your self confidence. Male banter is competitive and invigorating for most guys. But the more inadequate your friend feels, the more likely he will take the critical barrage to a meaner level. At some point, the comments may cut deeply, especially about your physical appearance or ability with partners. Get tough on your low ego friends and shut them up. When a friend goes too far they become a destructive enemy and you need to draw the line. This is a good time to pull out the John Wayne stance (possibly the only good time for it.)
2. BACK OFF
Lots of ladies have high needs for attention and low needs for intercourse. You know what that does to you. As you attempt to relieve your mental sexual nagging by nagging her, watch out she may bite! In order to get you to back off, she may say or do something vicious. Ever watch a female dog attack a too amorous male dog when she is not quite ready for him. She goes for the jugular. So might your little love-dove. What ever she says or does is meaningful only in sending a message to you that she is not ready for sex. Getting her ready is a minimum twenty minutes for most, weeks for others. This has nothing to do with loving you in the female mind.
3. SIZE COUNTS ONLY TO YOU
A wise man from Egypt once said chuckling, that only American men try to satisfy a woman with their penis. Other men use all the rest of themselves, he said with a lecherous wink. Women want to feel desired by their man and told they are the most beautiful and sexiest woman alive. Yes, they know you are lying, but still, she needs the fantasy about herself to feel sexy. When you ogle other women, she feels ugly. That won’t help us right now. She needs you to respond to her in a caring way, but that could be just brushing her hair or slow dancing in the living room. Ask her how she wants you to show her you care. It will blow your mind how unique that can be.
4. SHE IS TRYING
Women love men who notice the millions of little things they do to be attractive. They do want to talk about their new eyelash curler and feel clever for finding it after six hours at the mall. If you make fun of her or demean her, she will implode emotionally. If she does not feel good about herself, she will not feel like turning you on, either. Without her help, passion is difficult to do all on your own. (FYI. MAC has a good one.)
5. NOT ALWAYS GREAT
Your performance in the bedroom is not always dependable any more than a golf swing, a child’s reaction, the outcome of dinner or the rest of your life can be. However, your reaction is completely within your control. Try other pleasure methods, massage, love words, toys etc. and enjoy what you can. Some women never achieve an orgasm but enjoy lovemaking anyway. So can you.
6. WORK ON YOUR WAIST
Your physical shape can predispose you to more frequent problems, which in turn can lead to emotional panic and fear that it will happen again, thus virtually guaranteeing that it happens again. The pressure and stress you put on yourself is a disaster and unnecessary. A lose-lose, right? Check with your doctor about losing the gut because fat increases estrogen and reduces testosterone and starts an avalanche of health problems for men. Have your old resistant doctor test your hormone levels and prescribe some hormone drops if your body needs it.
7. TELL HER
At first you may try to increase stimulation with pornography and risky behavior and that might even work- temporarily. But how far can you go on that road? Skip the diseases and divorce. Ask your partner to be happy when you can perform and supportive, not critical when you can not. Remember, she is overwhelmed with her own feeling of inadequacy. Her worst fear is that you are avoiding her because she is not desirable, never suspecting that it is your own anxiety that is creating distance between the two of you. You are a man, not a machine. You do cry, get scared and fail sometimes. Really, that is so much sexier than a wooden heart.






BIO:

Dr. Molly Barrow http://www.drmollybarrow.com holds a Ph.D. in clinical psychology and is the author of the new book, “Matchlines: A Revolutionary New Way of Looking at Relationships and Making the Right Choices in Love,” ISBN 159507158X. http://www.askdrmolly.com She is an authority on relationship and psychological topics, a member of the American Psychological Association and a licensed mental health counselor. Dr. Molly has appeared as an expert in the film, My Suicide, documentaries Ready to Explode and KTLA Impact, NBC news, PBS In Focus, WBZT talk radio and in O Magazine, Psychology Today, Newsday, The Nest, MSN.com, Yahoo, Match.com, N Magazine, Women’s Health, Women’s World and Shrink About This columnist for Scripps newspapers and Menstuff.

To purchase Matchlines book please visit: http://www.askdrmolly.com

To read Dr. Molly Barrow daily blog: http://www.DrMollyBarrow.com/

Dr. Molly Barrow White Papers visit: http://drmollybarrowpapersedu.blogspot.com/

Dr. Molly Barrow Relationship Expert Author - Radio Talk On Female Politicians

Listen to Dr. Molly Barrow discuss the topic Can Powerful Women Be Righteous Women http://www.blogtalkradio.com/drmollybarrow
on her radio talk show My Relationship Answers.

Radio My Relationship Answers Dr. Molly Barrow Relationship Expert Author On Female Politicians

Listen to Dr. Molly Barrow discuss the topic Can Powerful Women Be Righteous Women http://www.blogtalkradio.com/drmollybarrow
on her radio talk show My Relationship Answers.

Dr. Molly Barrow joins Skylar Stone Radio Show

Join Skylar on Friday, May 4, from 6 to 7 P.M., on Romancing with Skylar Stone, AffairSexpert, where Dr. Molly Barrow, http://www.drmollybarrow.comrenowned psychotherapist and author of Matchlines,the Revolutionary New Way of Looking at Relationships and Making the Right Choices in Love http://www.askdrmolly.com
Listener call in numbers: 561-844-6167 and 800-889-0267

Internet Expert Marcus Zillman interviews Relationship Expert Dr. Molly Barrow about Healthcare Resources

Marcus Zillman http://www.healthcareresources.info and http://www.AwarenessWatch.com
interviews Dr. Molly Barrow on Blogtalk Radio about her new book Matchlines: A Revolutionary New Way of Looking at Relationships and Making the Right Choices in Love http://www.askdrmolly.com. Join Marcus and Molly at Blogtalk Radio http://boss.streamos.com/wmedia/blogtalkradio/show_20930.wax talking about relationship, qualities of physical beauty vs inner beauty, health, stress related diseases and Dr. Molly's new radio show called My Relationship Answers at BlogtalkRadio http://www.blogtalkradio.com under Family.